diū rén: 丢人 - To Lose Face, Embarrassing, Shameful

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• Summary: Learn the essential Chinese term 丢人 (diū rén), which means “to lose face,” “to be embarrassed,” or “to be disgraced.” This page provides a deep dive into its meaning, cultural significance related to the concept of 面子 (miànzi), and practical examples. Understand why `丢人` is more than just personal embarrassment and is a key to unlocking a deeper understanding of Chinese social dynamics, making it a must-know term for any learner.

• Pinyin (with tone marks): diū rén
• Part of Speech: Verb-object compound (often functions as a verb or adjective)
• HSK Level: HSK 4
• Concise Definition: To lose face; to suffer a loss of personal dignity or social standing; to be embarrassed or disgraced.
• In a Nutshell: `丢人` is the feeling and social consequence of doing something that brings shame or disgrace upon yourself, and by extension, your family, company, or group. It's not just a private feeling of awkwardness; it's a public loss of reputation and honor. The core idea is that your actions have caused you to “lose” your respectable “personhood” in the eyes of others.

• 丢 (diū): To lose; to misplace; to throw away or cast aside.
• 人 (rén): Person; people; human being.

When combined, 丢人 (diū rén) literally translates to “to lose a person.” This powerfully conveys the idea that through a shameful act, one has lost their standing, their dignity, their “face” as a respectable person within the social hierarchy.

The concept of `丢人` is inextricably linked to the Chinese cultural cornerstone of 面子 (miànzi), or “face.” In Western cultures, “face” is often a metaphor for individual reputation. In Chinese culture, `面子` is a much more tangible social currency. It represents a person's honor, prestige, and social standing as perceived and granted by their community (family, colleagues, society at large). Comparison with Western “Embarrassment”: A Westerner might say, “I'm so embarrassed I tripped on the empty sidewalk.” This is a fleeting, personal feeling. For the same event to be `丢人`, there needs to be a social audience and a perceived loss of dignity. Tripping and falling in front of your new boss and important clients is definitely `丢人`. The key difference is the scope of the shame. Western embarrassment is typically individual. `丢人`, however, operates within a collectivist framework. If a child misbehaves in public, the parents feel they have `丢人`. If an employee makes a huge mistake, the company can `丢人`. It reflects poorly not just on the individual, but on the entire group they represent. Avoiding `丢人` is a powerful motivator for maintaining social harmony and upholding group honor.

`丢人` is a very common, informal term used in everyday life. Its connotation is always negative.

1. – In Daily Conversation —

It's frequently used to scold, complain, or express frustration at a shameful situation. Parents often use it with their children, and friends use it with each other, sometimes in a half-joking, half-serious manner.

• *”你考试又不及格，太丢人了！“ (Nǐ kǎoshì yòu bù jígé, tài diūrén le!) - “You failed the test again, how shameful!”*

1. – Self-Deprecation —

People also use it to describe their own mistakes in a self-deprecating way.

• *”哎呀，我把老板的名字叫错了，真丢人。“ (Āiyā, wǒ bǎ lǎobǎn de míngzì jiào cuò le, zhēn diūrén.) - “Oh no, I called the boss by the wrong name, so embarrassing.”*

1. – On Social Media —

Netizens frequently use `丢人` to criticize behavior that is seen as uncivilized or immoral, especially actions that reflect poorly on Chinese people internationally. For instance, a video of tourists behaving badly abroad might get comments like `丢人丢到国外去了` (diūrén diū dào guówài qù le) - “Losing face all the way overseas.”

• Example 1:
  • 在这么多人面前说错话，我感觉很丢人。
  • Pinyin: Zài zhème duō rén miànqián shuō cuò huà, wǒ gǎnjué hěn diūrén.
  • English: Speaking incorrectly in front of so many people, I felt very embarrassed.
  • Analysis: This is a classic example of public failure leading to the feeling of `丢人`. The key is “in front of so many people” (在这么多人面前).
• Example 2:
  • 孩子在超市里大哭大闹，让他妈妈觉得特别丢人。
  • Pinyin: Háizi zài chāoshì lǐ dà kū dà nào, ràng tā māma juédé tèbié diūrén.
  • English: The child was crying and screaming in the supermarket, making his mother feel especially disgraced.
  • Analysis: This shows the collectivist nature of `丢人`. The child's actions directly cause the parent to lose face.
• Example 3:
  • 你别再做这种丢人的事情了！
  • Pinyin: Nǐ bié zài zuò zhè zhǒng diūrén de shìqing le!
  • English: Stop doing this kind of shameful thing!
  • Analysis: Here, `丢人` is used as an adjective to describe “thing” (事情). This is a strong command or plea.
• Example 4:
  • A: 我唱歌跑调了。 (Wǒ chànggē pǎodiào le.) - I sang out of tune.
  • B: 没事，自娱自乐，不丢人。 (Méishì, zìyú zìlè, bù diūrén.) - It's fine, you were just having fun, it's not embarrassing.
  • Analysis: This dialogue shows how `丢人` is used in reassurance. B is saying that because it was a private, fun setting, no social standing was lost.
• Example 5:
  • 作为一个专业运动员，在比赛中作弊是非常丢人的。
  • Pinyin: Zuòwéi yīgè zhuānyè yùndòngyuán, zài bǐsài zhōng zuòbì shì fēicháng diūrén de.
  • English: As a professional athlete, cheating in a competition is extremely disgraceful.
  • Analysis: This highlights a serious breach of ethics. The loss of face here is significant and affects one's professional identity.
• Example 6:
  • 他因为随地吐痰被罚款了，真是丢人丢到家了。
  • Pinyin: Tā yīnwèi suídì tǔtán bèi fákuǎn le, zhēnshi diūrén diū dàojiā le.
  • English: He was fined for spitting on the ground, that's the ultimate disgrace.
  • Analysis: The phrase `丢人丢到家了` (diūrén diū dàojiā le) is a common idiom meaning “to be utterly shamed/disgraced,” literally “to lose face all the way to one's home.”
• Example 7:
  • 我忘了客户的名字，当时真想找个地缝钻进去，太丢人了。
  • Pinyin: Wǒ wàngle kèhù de míngzì, dāngshí zhēn xiǎng zhǎo ge dìfèng zuān jìnqù, tài diūrén le.
  • English: I forgot the client's name, at that moment I really wanted to find a crack in the floor to crawl into, it was so mortifying.
  • Analysis: This sentence includes a common expression associated with extreme embarrassment (`想找个地缝钻进去`), reinforcing the strength of the feeling of `丢人`.
• Example 8:
  • 如果我们团队完不成这个项目，那就在整个公司面前丢人了。
  • Pinyin: Rúguǒ wǒmen tuánduì wán bù chéng zhège xiàngmù, nà jiù zài zhěnggè gōngsī miànqián diūrén le.
  • English: If our team can't complete this project, we will lose face in front of the whole company.
  • Analysis: This illustrates the concept of collective face. The failure of the team brings shame upon all its members.
• Example 9:
  • 小心点，别把酒洒到客人身上，那多丢人啊！
  • Pinyin: Xiǎoxīn diǎn, bié bǎ jiǔ sǎ dào kèrén shēnshang, nà duō diūrén a!
  • English: Be careful, don't spill wine on the guest, how embarrassing would that be!
  • Analysis: This is used as a preventative warning. The goal is to avoid a potential `丢人` situation before it happens.
• Example 10:
  • 他被公司开除了，觉得很丢人，不敢告诉家里人。
  • Pinyin: Tā bèi gōngsī kāichú le, juédé hěn diūrén, bù gǎn gàosù jiālirén.
  • English: He was fired from his job and feels very ashamed, so he doesn't dare tell his family.
  • Analysis: This shows the personal burden of `丢人`. The shame is so great that he hides the truth to protect both his own face and his family's.

• `丢人` (diūrén) vs. `害羞` (hàixiū) - Embarrassment vs. Shyness: A common mistake for learners is to confuse `丢人` with being shy. `害羞 (hàixiū)` is an internal feeling of bashfulness or timidness, often in romantic or new social situations. `丢人` is an external judgment resulting from a specific shameful action. You can be `害羞` to talk to a stranger, but you are `丢人` because you fell down in front of them.
• `丢人` (diūrén) vs. `尴尬` (gāngà) - Disgrace vs. Awkwardness: `尴尬 (gāngà)` means “awkward” and describes a situation that makes people feel uncomfortable, like a long silence in a conversation. An awkward situation (`尴尬`) doesn't necessarily mean anyone has lost face. However, a `丢人` event is almost always also `尴尬`. `丢人` implies a moral or competence failure, while `尴尬` is just situational discomfort.
• Incorrect Usage: Using `丢人` for a minor, private mistake. For example, saying “我忘了带钥匙，真丢人” (Wǒ wàngle dài yàoshi, zhēn diūrén - “I forgot my keys, so shameful”) when you're alone sounds overly dramatic. In this case, a simple “真倒霉” (zhēn dǎoméi - “such bad luck”) or “真麻烦” (zhēn máfan - “what a hassle”) is more appropriate. The `丢人` element comes in if, for example, you forgot your keys and made your entire family wait outside in the rain for an hour.

• 面子 (miànzi) - The foundational concept of “face,” social standing, and honor that is lost when one is `丢人`.
• 丢脸 (diūliǎn) - A very close synonym of `丢人`, literally “to lose face.” They are often used interchangeably in modern Mandarin.
• 没面子 (méi miànzi) - “To have no face.” This describes the state of being after a `丢人` event. It's less of an action and more of a condition.
• 出丑 (chūchǒu) - To make a fool of oneself; to make an exhibition of oneself. This focuses more on the foolishness of the act itself.
• 难看 (nánkàn) - Literally “ugly” or “hard to look at.” When describing a situation, it means “embarrassing” or “unseemly.” “这场面真难看” (This scene is really ugly/embarrassing).
• 尴尬 (gāngà) - Awkward. Describes the feeling of a situation, which may or may not involve losing face.
• 害羞 (hàixiū) - Shy; bashful. An internal feeling of timidity, not a social judgment of disgrace.
• 给面子 (gěi miànzi) - The opposite concept: “to give face.” To show someone respect and preserve their honor.