kāichē: 开车 - To Drive a Car; To Tell a Dirty Joke

• Keywords: kaiche, 开车, how to say drive a car in Chinese, driving in China, what does kaiche mean, Chinese internet slang, dirty jokes in Chinese, old driver Chinese slang, 老司机, lǎosījī
• Summary: Learn the essential Chinese verb “开车 (kāichē)”, which literally means “to drive a car”. Discover its practical use in everyday situations like commuting and travel in China. But that's not all! Dive into modern Chinese internet culture and uncover its popular slang meaning: “to tell a dirty joke” or “to start a lewd topic”, often associated with the phrase “老司机 (lǎo sījī)” or “old driver”. This guide will help you navigate both the streets and the conversations of modern China.

• Pinyin (with tone marks): kāichē
• Part of Speech: Verb-object phrase (functions as a single verb)
• HSK Level: HSK 1
• Concise Definition: To operate a motor vehicle; (slang) to make a suggestive or lewd comment.
• In a Nutshell: At its most basic, `开车 (kāichē)` is what you do with a car—you drive it. It's one of the first verbs you learn for daily life. However, in the world of Chinese social media and among younger generations, `开车` has taken on a completely different, informal meaning. It's used humorously to signal that someone is about to say something risqué or tell an off-color joke, like a “driver” taking “passengers” on a wild ride. Understanding both meanings is key to understanding modern Chinese communication.

• 开 (kāi): Literally means “to open”, “to start”, or “to operate”. Think of opening a door (`开门`), starting a machine, or opening a business.
• 车 (chē): This character was originally a pictogram of a chariot viewed from above, showing the wheels, axle, and passenger compartment. It simply means “vehicle”, and most commonly refers to a “car”.
• When combined, `开车 (kāichē)` logically and literally means “to operate a vehicle”.

The dual meaning of `开车` perfectly illustrates how language evolves in the digital age. Literally, `开车` is tied to China's rapid modernization. In just a few decades, car ownership has exploded, making driving a daily reality and a symbol of personal freedom and economic success for millions. The slang meaning, however, was born on the internet. It originated from a viral, folksy song from Yunnan province called “老司机带带我 (Lǎo Sījī Dài Dài Wǒ)” — “Old Driver, Give Me a Ride”. The song is filled with suggestive lyrics and innuendo. From this, the internet community adopted `老司机 (lǎo sījī)`, or “old driver,” to refer to someone who is an expert in a niche topic, particularly in sourcing and sharing adult or risqué content. Consequently, `开车` (“driving the car”) became the act of sharing this content or simply telling a dirty joke. This is different from the Western concept of someone just being “crude” or “inappropriate”. In Chinese internet culture, `开车` is a playful, communal act. The “driver” announces their intention, and others can choose to “get on the bus” (`上车`). It's a way for a group of friends to share a laugh over a slightly taboo topic in a lighthearted, consensual way. It's less about offending and more about sharing a moment of playful mischief.

This is the standard, everyday use of the term. It's neutral, used in all contexts (formal and informal) when talking about operating a vehicle.

• Talking about your commute: “我每天开车上班。” (I drive to work every day.)
• Asking about ability: “你会开车吗？” (Do you know how to drive?)
• Giving directions or instructions: “你开车要小心。” (You need to be careful when you drive.)

This usage is highly informal and context-dependent. It's almost exclusively used online (forums, social media, group chats) or among close friends who share a similar sense of humor.

• Signaling a joke: Someone might type “前方高能，我要开车了” (Qiánfāng gāonéng, wǒ yào kāichē le) — “High energy ahead, I'm about to drive!” — before posting a suggestive meme or story.
• Accusing a friend: If a friend makes an unexpected innuendo, you might laugh and say “你又在开车！” (Nǐ yòu zài kāichē!) — “You're driving again!”
• Responses: People who want to hear the joke will reply with “快上车” (Kuài shàng chē) - “Hurry, get in the car!” or post a car emoji 🚗. Those who think it's inappropriate for the setting might say “这不是去幼儿园的车！” (Zhè bùshì qù yòuéryuán de chē!) - “This isn't the bus to kindergarten!”

— Literal Meaning —

• Example 1:
• 他每天开车去上班。
• Pinyin: Tā měitiān kāichē qù shàngbān.
• English: He drives a car to work every day.
• Analysis: A simple, neutral statement about a daily routine. This is the most common usage of `开车`.
• Example 2:
• 你会开车吗？我去年才拿到驾照。
• Pinyin: Nǐ huì kāichē ma? Wǒ qùnián cái nádào jiàzhào.
• English: Do you know how to drive? I just got my driver's license last year.
• Analysis: A common conversational question. `会 (huì)` is used to ask about a learned skill.
• Example 3:
• 为了安全，请不要在喝酒后开车。
• Pinyin: Wèile ānquán, qǐng búyào zài hējiǔ hòu kāichē.
• English: For safety, please do not drive after drinking alcohol.
• Analysis: This demonstrates `开车` in a formal warning or public service announcement.
• Example 4:
• 我们开车去旅行吧，这样更方便。
• Pinyin: Wǒmen kāichē qù lǚxíng ba, zhèyàng gèng fāngbiàn.
• English: Let's go on a trip by car, it's more convenient this way.
• Analysis: Using `开车` to suggest a mode of transportation for a road trip.
• Example 5:
• 我爸爸正在教我开车，真的好紧张。
• Pinyin: Wǒ bàba zhèngzài jiāo wǒ kāichē, zhēn de hǎo jǐnzhāng.
• English: My dad is teaching me how to drive, I'm so nervous.
• Analysis: Shows the process of learning the skill of driving.

— Slang Meaning —

• Example 6:
• 注意，前面的老司机要开车了！
• Pinyin: Zhùyì, qiánmiàn de lǎo sījī yào kāichē le!
• English: Attention, the “old driver” up ahead is about to “drive”!
• Analysis: A typical comment on social media, warning others that a risqué joke or post is coming. It's a playful alert.
• Example 7:
• 你这个笑话也太… 你是不是在开车？
• Pinyin: Nǐ zhège xiàohuà yě tài… nǐ shì bùshì zài kāichē?
• English: This joke of yours is a bit… Are you “driving”?
• Analysis: A way to playfully call someone out for making a comment with a hidden, dirty meaning. The tone is humorous, not accusatory.
• Example 8:
• 别在这里开车，群里还有未成年人。
• Pinyin: Bié zài zhèlǐ kāichē, qún lǐ hái yǒu wèichéngniánrén.
• English: Don't “drive” here, there are still minors in the group chat.
• Analysis: A common way to moderate a chat group, telling someone their joke is inappropriate for the audience. It's a gentle way of saying “tone it down.”
• Example 9:
• 他又开始开车了，GKD (搞快点)！
• Pinyin: Tā yòu kāishǐ kāichē le, gǎo kuài diǎn!
• English: He's started “driving” again, hurry it up!
• Analysis: Shows enthusiastic participation. “GKD” is internet acronym for `搞快点 (gǎo kuài diǎn)`, meaning “do it faster” or “let's go!”. This is like saying “I'm ready for the joke, tell it!”
• Example 10:
• 我只是在讨论生物学，怎么就变成开车了？
• Pinyin: Wǒ zhǐshì zài tǎolùn shēngwùxué, zěnme jiù biànchéng kāichē le?
• English: I was just discussing biology, how did that turn into “driving”?
• Analysis: This is a classic example of feigned innocence. The speaker made a comment that could be interpreted in a lewd way and is now pretending they had no such intention.

• Confusing the Context: The single biggest mistake is using the slang meaning in a formal or inappropriate context. Never say “我要开车了” to your boss, a teacher, or an elder unless you are literally about to get in your car and drive. The slang is strictly for informal, private conversations and online communities where the rules are understood.
• `开车 (kāichē)` vs. `驾驶 (jiàshǐ)`: `驾驶 (jiàshǐ)` is a more formal, often written, verb for “to drive” or “to pilot”. You will see it on official documents like a driver's license (`驾驶证 jiàshǐzhèng`) or in news reports about traffic accidents. In everyday speech, `开车` is far more common. Using `驾驶` in a casual sentence like “我每天驾驶上班” would sound overly stiff and unnatural.
• `开车 (kāichē)` vs. `打车 (dǎ chē)`: Don't confuse these. `开车` means to drive a car yourself. `打车 (dǎ chē)` means to hail or take a taxi. If you say `我开车去机场` (I'll drive to the airport), it means you are the driver. If you say `我打车去机场` (I'll take a cab to the airport), you are the passenger.

• 老司机 (lǎo sījī) - “Old driver.” The person who “drives the car” (tells the joke or shares risqué content). A veteran or expert, especially in these matters.
• 上车 (shàng chē) - “To get in the car.” A common response to `开车`, showing you want to hear the joke or see the content.
• 翻车 (fān chē) - “To flip the car.” A slang term for when something goes wrong. In this context, it could mean a joke that falls flat, or an “old driver” getting their account banned.
• 驾驶 (jiàshǐ) - The formal, written verb for “to drive.” Used in official contexts.
• 司机 (sījī) - A driver or chauffeur by profession. The person, not the action.
• 打车 (dǎ chē) - To take a taxi/cab.
• 坐车 (zuò chē) - To ride in a vehicle as a passenger (car, bus, train).
• 堵车 (dǔ chē) - Traffic jam (literally “blocked car”).
• 飙车 (biāo chē) - To street race; to drive recklessly and at high speed. It has a negative and illegal connotation.