dézuì: 得罪 - To Offend, To Displease

• Keywords: dézuì, 得罪, how to say offend in Chinese, displease someone in Chinese, Chinese etiquette, avoid offending someone Chinese, cultural harmony, damaging relationships in Chinese, what does dezui mean
• Summary: Discover the deep cultural meaning of 得罪 (dézuì), a crucial Chinese term that goes beyond simply “to offend.” Learn how dézuì relates to the concepts of “face” (面子) and social harmony, and why avoiding it is key to navigating relationships in China. This guide provides practical examples, cultural insights, and common mistakes to help you communicate respectfully and effectively.

• Pinyin (with tone marks): dézuì
• Part of Speech: Verb
• HSK Level: HSK 5
• Concise Definition: To offend or displease someone, often resulting in negative consequences or a damaged relationship.
• In a Nutshell: 得罪 (dézuì) isn't just about hurting someone's feelings momentarily. It implies you've crossed a social line, broken an unwritten rule, or shown disrespect, leading to a lasting negative impression. It's about creating an “enemy” or, at the very least, damaging a relationship in a way that could have future repercussions. The focus is less on the emotional reaction and more on the social fallout.

• 得 (dé): This character typically means “to get,” “to obtain,” or “to gain.” In this context, it functions like a resultative particle, indicating the acquisition of a certain state or outcome.
• 罪 (zuì): This character means “crime,” “sin,” “fault,” or “guilt.” It's a very strong word that implies a serious transgression.
• When combined, 得罪 (dézuì) literally translates to “to obtain guilt” or “to acquire fault.” This powerfully frames the act of offending someone not as a simple mistake, but as a transgression for which you are now at fault in their eyes.

The concept of 得罪 (dézuì) is deeply rooted in Chinese cultural values that prioritize social harmony (和谐, héxié) and the protection of one's social standing (面子, miànzi). In many Western cultures, “offending someone” can often be a temporary issue, resolved with a quick apology. The offense is usually seen as a personal emotional slight. However, to 得罪 (dézuì) someone in a Chinese context is a more strategic social error. It means you have potentially damaged your 关系 (guānxi) — your network of relationships — which is crucial for both personal and professional life. For example, publicly contradicting an elder or a superior is a classic way to 得罪 them. You are not just disagreeing with their idea; you are causing them to lose face in front of others. This damages the harmony of the group and creates a social debt or grievance that may not be easily forgotten. The fear is not just that the person will be angry, but that they will remember this slight and potentially obstruct your future endeavors. Therefore, a common sentiment in China is “宁可得罪君子，不要得罪小人” (nìngkě dézuì jūnzǐ, bùyào dézuì xiǎorén) — “It's better to offend a gentleman than a petty person,” because the petty person is more likely to seek revenge.

得罪 (dézuì) is a common word used in situations where social navigation is key.

• In Conversation: People often use it to express caution or explain why they are being indirect. For example, “I don't want to say too much, because I'm afraid of offending people” (我不想说太多，怕得罪人).
• In Business: This is a critical concept. Avoiding 得罪-ing a client, a government official, or your boss is paramount. A single misstep can ruin a deal or damage a career. Business negotiations often involve careful, indirect language specifically to avoid this.
• As a Warning: You might warn a friend, “Be careful what you say, don't offend the manager” (你说话小心点，别得罪了经理).

The connotation is almost always negative and serious. It's not used lightly. You would not use 得罪 to describe a minor, playful annoyance.

• Example 1:
  • 我不是故意的，希望没有得罪你。
  • Pinyin: Wǒ bùshì gùyì de, xīwàng méiyǒu dézuì nǐ.
  • English: I didn't do it on purpose, I hope I haven't offended you.
  • Analysis: A common apology, acknowledging that one's actions might have crossed a line. It's more formal and serious than just saying “sorry.”
• Example 2:
  • 他这个人说话很直，很容易得罪人。
  • Pinyin: Tā zhège rén shuōhuà hěn zhí, hěn róngyì dézuì rén.
  • English: He is very blunt when he speaks, so he easily offends people.
  • Analysis: This describes a personality trait and its social consequences. Note the use of “人” (rén) to mean “people in general.”
• Example 3:
  • 你千万不要得罪公司的老板，不然你的工作就保不住了。
  • Pinyin: Nǐ qiānwàn bùyào dézuì gōngsī de lǎobǎn, bùrán nǐ de gōngzuò jiù bǎo bù zhù le.
  • English: You must not displease the company's boss, otherwise you won't be able to keep your job.
  • Analysis: This is a strong warning that highlights the severe, practical consequences of 得罪-ing someone in a position of power.
• Example 4:
  • 为了不得罪客户，我们只好同意了他们不合理的要求。
  • Pinyin: Wèile bù dézuì kèhù, wǒmen zhǐhǎo tóngyìle tāmen bù hélǐ de yāoqiú.
  • English: In order not to offend the client, we had no choice but to agree to their unreasonable demands.
  • Analysis: This shows how the fear of 得罪-ing someone can lead to strategic concessions, especially in a business context.
• Example 5:
  • 我刚才说了什么话，是不是得罪她了？她看起来很不高兴。
  • Pinyin: Wǒ gāngcái shuōle shénme huà, shì bùshì dézuì tā le? Tā kànqǐlái hěn bù gāoxìng.
  • English: What did I just say, did I offend her? She looks very unhappy.
  • Analysis: This is used when you suspect you've made a social error and are worried about the state of the relationship.
• Example 6:
  • 这种敏感的话题最好别谈，免得得罪了谁都不知道。
  • Pinyin: Zhè zhǒng mǐngǎn de huàtí zuì hǎo bié tán, miǎnde dézuìle shéi dōu bù zhīdào.
  • English: It's best not to discuss such sensitive topics, lest you offend someone without even knowing it.
  • Analysis: This shows the proactive avoidance of topics that could lead to 得罪-ing someone. The word “免得” (miǎnde) means “so as to avoid.”
• Example 7:
  • 他把部门里的同事都得罪光了，所以现在没人愿意帮他。
  • Pinyin: Tā bǎ bùmén lǐ de tóngshì dōu dézuì guāng le, suǒyǐ xiànzài méi rén yuànyì bāng tā.
  • English: He has offended every single colleague in the department, so now nobody is willing to help him.
  • Analysis: The “光” (guāng) here means “completely” or “all,” emphasizing the totality of the social damage he has caused.
• Example 8:
  • 我宁可丢掉这个机会，也不想得罪我的好朋友。
  • Pinyin: Wǒ nìngkě diūdiào zhège jīhuì, yě bùxiǎng dézuì wǒ de hǎo péngyǒu.
  • English: I would rather lose this opportunity than offend my good friend.
  • Analysis: The structure “宁可…也…” (nìngkě…yě…) means “would rather… than…”. It highlights the high value placed on the relationship over a tangible gain.
• Example 9:
  • 我只是实话实说，没想到会得罪这么多人。
  • Pinyin: Wǒ zhǐshì shíhuà shíshuō, méi xiǎngdào huì dézuì zhème duō rén.
  • English: I was just telling the truth, I didn't expect that I would offend so many people.
  • Analysis: This expresses surprise or regret at the unforeseen social consequences of one's honesty. In a collectivist culture, blunt truth is not always valued over harmony.
• Example 10:
  • 如果我的言辞有任何不当之处，得罪了各位，还请多多包涵。
  • Pinyin: Rúguǒ wǒ de yáncí yǒu rènhé bùdàng zhī chù, dézuìle gèwèi, hái qǐng duōduō bāohan.
  • English: If any of my words were inappropriate and have offended you all, please be magnanimous and forgive me.
  • Analysis: A very formal and polite phrase used in public speaking or formal writing as a disclaimer to preemptively apologize for any potential offense. “包涵” (bāohan) is a formal way to say “forgive” or “bear with.”

• 得罪 (dézuì) vs. 惹…生气 (rě…shēngqì): A common mistake for learners is to use 得罪 for minor annoyances.
  • 惹…生气 (rě…shēngqì) means “to make someone angry.” It describes causing a temporary emotional state. “You stepped on my foot and made me angry” (你踩了我的脚，惹我生气了).
  • 得罪 (dézuì) implies a more permanent state of social damage. You wouldn't say you 得罪-ed someone just by stepping on their foot (unless they were a powerful and petty person looking for an excuse).
  • Incorrect: 我把猫得罪了。(Wǒ bǎ māo dézuì le.) - This is wrong because it implies you've created a lasting social conflict with the cat.
  • Correct: 我惹猫生气了。(Wǒ rě māo shēngqì le.) - “I made the cat mad.” This is more appropriate.
• Underestimating the Severity: The biggest mistake is treating 得罪 as a direct equivalent of the English “offend.” For English speakers, offending someone is bad, but often fixable. To 得罪 someone can mean you are socially “blacklisted” by that person and their network. The cultural weight is much heavier.

• 冒犯 (màofàn) - A more formal, often written, synonym for “to offend.” It carries a similar weight to 得罪.
• 惹 (rě) - To provoke, to stir up (trouble), to ask for (trouble). It's often used in the pattern `惹…生气` (to make…angry) and is generally less severe than 得罪.
• 面子 (miànzi) - The concept of “face,” dignity, and social prestige. Causing someone to lose face is a primary way to 得罪 them.
• 关系 (guānxi) - Your network of social and professional relationships. This network is damaged when you 得罪 someone within it.
• 和谐 (héxié) - Social harmony. The ultimate goal in many Chinese social interactions is to maintain harmony, which is disrupted by acts of 得罪.
• 罪 (zuì) - The root character meaning “crime” or “sin.” Understanding this character helps you grasp the seriousness of 得罪.
• 小人 (xiǎo rén) - A “small person” or petty individual. A common piece of advice is that you must be especially careful not to 得罪 a `小人`, as they are likely to hold a grudge and seek revenge.
• 包涵 (bāohan) - To forgive, to pardon, to bear with. A formal term often used when asking for forgiveness after potentially 得罪-ing someone.