抠门

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kōumén: 抠门 - Stingy, Miserly, Penny-pinching

Quick Summary

  • Keywords: koumen, kōu mén, 抠门, Chinese stingy, Chinese cheap, penny-pinching in Chinese, miserly meaning, what does koumen mean, Chinese slang for cheap, frugal vs stingy in Chinese.
  • Summary: Learn the essential Chinese term 抠门 (kōumén), a colloquial and slightly negative word for being “stingy” or “miserly.” This page explores its cultural meaning beyond simple frugality, explaining why being 抠门 (kōumén) can be a social taboo in China where generosity and “face” (面子) are highly valued. Discover how to use it in conversation, contrast it with its positive counterpart 节俭 (jiéjiǎn), and understand its role in modern Chinese social dynamics, from dating to friendships.

Core Meaning

  • Pinyin (with tone marks): kōumén
  • Part of Speech: Adjective
  • HSK Level: N/A (but highly common in spoken Chinese)
  • Concise Definition: To be stingy, cheap, or ungenerously unwilling to spend money.
  • In a Nutshell: 抠门 (kōumén) describes someone who is cheap to a fault. It's not about being wisely frugal; it's about being ungenerous, often in social situations where a bit of generosity is expected. The word carries a negative, judgmental connotation, implying the person's penny-pinching inconveniences or offends others.

Character Breakdown

  • 抠 (kōu): This character means “to dig,” “to pick at,” or “to carve out,” often with one's fingernail. It evokes a sense of scraping to get every last bit.
  • 门 (mén): This character simply means “door” or “gate.”
  • Combined Meaning: The characters together paint a vivid picture: someone is so cheap they are literally “digging at the doorframe” to save the tiniest fleck of wood. It's an image of extreme, almost absurd, reluctance to part with anything of value. Think of someone who is reluctant to even open their “door” (e.g., their wallet) to let money out.

Cultural Context and Significance

  • A Social Critique, Not a Virtue: In Western cultures, frugality and thriftiness are often praised as virtues of responsibility and good planning. In China, while the concept of being economical (节俭 jiéjiǎn) is also a traditional virtue, 抠门 (kōumén) is almost always a criticism. The key difference lies in the social context. Frugality is about how you manage your own resources; 抠门 is about how your management of resources negatively affects your generosity towards others.
  • Comparison to “Stingy”: The English word “stingy” is a good translation, but 抠门 (kōumén) is deeply tied to the cultural concepts of 面子 (miànzi) - face and 关系 (guānxi) - relationships. In China, treating friends to a meal or giving a generous gift is a way to build relationships and give everyone “face.” Someone who is 抠门 in these situations—for example, by insisting on splitting a small bill down to the last cent or by never offering to treat—causes both themself and their companions to lose face. They are seen as not valuing the relationship enough to be generous.
  • Generosity as Social Glue: In many social situations, especially among friends, colleagues, and in dating, generosity is the expected norm. Being 抠门 signals a lack of social grace and can damage one's reputation and relationships.

Practical Usage in Modern China

  • Connotation and Formality: 抠门 is an informal, colloquial term with a distinctly negative connotation. You would use it to complain about a friend, a boss, or a date, but you would almost never say it to someone's face unless you were very close and joking (or trying to start an argument).
  • Common Scenarios:
    • Friendships: “He's so 抠门! We went out for dinner, and he made a fuss because his share was one yuan more than mine.”
    • Dating: Being 抠门 on a date is often considered a major red flag in China, as it can imply a lack of sincerity or generosity.
    • Business: A boss or company that is overly cheap with employee benefits, salaries, or expenses might be described as 抠门.
    • Self-Deprecating Humor: Sometimes, young people will jokingly call themselves 抠门 to describe their intense money-saving habits, turning the negative term into a humorous badge of honor. For example, “Look at my spreadsheet for saving on groceries, I'm so 抠门!”

Example Sentences

  • Example 1:
    • 他这个人太抠门了，从来不请客。
    • Pinyin: Tā zhège rén tài kōumén le, cónglái bù qǐngkè.
    • English: This guy is so stingy, he never treats anyone to a meal.
    • Analysis: A classic complaint. 请客 (qǐngkè), “to treat someone,” is a very common social practice, and failing to do so is a primary sign of being 抠门.
  • Example 2:
    • 别那么抠门，只是一杯咖啡而已。
    • Pinyin: Bié nàme kōumén, zhǐshì yībēi kāfēi éryǐ.
    • English: Don't be so cheap, it's just a cup of coffee.
    • Analysis: This is something you might say to a friend who is hesitating to spend a small amount of money. It's a direct, informal admonishment.
  • Example 3:
    • 我男朋友有点儿抠门，我们约会总是去公园。
    • Pinyin: Wǒ nánpéngyǒu yǒudiǎnr kōumén, wǒmen yuēhuì zǒngshì qù gōngyuán.
    • English: My boyfriend is a bit stingy; we always go to the park for dates.
    • Analysis: This shows how 抠门 is used to describe behavior in a relationship. The implication is negative—that he's unwilling to spend money on proper dates.
  • Example 4:
    • 我们老板在员工福利上特别抠门。
    • Pinyin: Wǒmen lǎobǎn zài yuángōng fúlì shàng tèbié kōumén.
    • English: Our boss is especially cheap when it comes to employee benefits.
    • Analysis: This demonstrates how the term can be applied to institutions or people in power, not just personal friends.
  • Example 5:
    • 为了买新手机，我这个月得抠门一点儿。
    • Pinyin: Wèile mǎi xīn shǒujī, wǒ zhège yuè děi kōumén yīdiǎnr.
    • English: In order to buy a new phone, I have to be a little more stingy this month.
    • Analysis: This is an example of self-deprecating or humorous usage. The speaker is calling their own necessary act of saving money 抠门, acknowledging that they'll be cutting back on spending.
  • Example 6:
    • 他不是抠门，他只是很节俭，因为他要存钱买房。
    • Pinyin: Tā bùshì kōumén, tā zhǐshì hěn jiéjiǎn, yīnwèi tā yào cún qián mǎifáng.
    • English: He's not stingy, he's just very frugal because he's saving up to buy a house.
    • Analysis: This sentence perfectly highlights the contrast between 抠门 (kōumén) (negative) and 节俭 (jiéjiǎn) (positive). It provides a valid reason for his behavior, reframing it as a virtue.
  • Example 7:
    • 这种百万富翁居然连瓶水都舍不得买，真是个铁公鸡，抠门到家了！
    • Pinyin: Zhè zhǒng bǎiwàn fùwēng jūrán lián píng shuǐ dōu shěbude mǎi, zhēnshì ge tiě gōngjī, kōumén dàojiā le!
    • English: This kind of millionaire can't even bear to buy a bottle of water, he's a real “iron rooster,” stingy to the extreme!
    • Analysis: This sentence uses 抠门到家了 (kōumén dàojiā le), an intensifier meaning “stingy to the max” or “the epitome of stingy.” It also introduces the related idiom 铁公鸡 (tiě gōngjī).
  • Example 8:
    • 你觉得AA制是抠门的表现吗？
    • Pinyin: Nǐ juédé AA zhì shì kōumén de biǎoxiàn ma?
    • English: Do you think splitting the bill is a sign of being stingy?
    • Analysis: This question directly addresses a common cultural point of discussion. The answer can depend on the context, the relationship between the people, and the specific situation.
  • Example 9:
    • 在小事上抠门的人，在大事上可能也不大方。
    • Pinyin: Zài xiǎoshì shàng kōumén de rén, zài dàshì shàng kěnéng yě bù dàfāng.
    • English: A person who is stingy with small things is probably not generous with big things either.
    • Analysis: This is a common piece of folk wisdom, suggesting that being 抠门 is a fundamental personality trait. It also introduces the antonym, 大方 (dàfāng).
  • Example 10:
    • 他对自己很大方，对别人却很抠门。
    • Pinyin: Tā duì zìjǐ hěn dàfāng, duì biérén què hěn kōumén.
    • English: He is very generous with himself, but very stingy with others.
    • Analysis: This is a powerful criticism. It clarifies that the person isn't poor or frugal out of necessity; they are simply selfish. This is the core negative connotation of 抠门.

Nuances and Common Mistakes

  • `抠门 (kōumén)` vs. `节俭 (jiéjiǎn)` - The Critical Difference:
    • `抠门 (kōumén)` (Stingy): Is a negative social judgment. It implies selfishness and a lack of generosity towards others. He's so 抠门 he wouldn't even lend his friend bus fare.
    • `节俭 (jiéjiǎn)` (Frugal/Thrifty): Is a positive personal virtue. It implies being wise with money, avoiding waste, and saving for the future. My parents taught me to be 节俭 and not waste food.
    • Confusing these two is a major mistake. Calling a thrifty person 抠门 is an insult.
  • False Friend: “Cheap”
    • In English, “cheap” can describe a person (stingy) or an object (inexpensive). In Chinese, 抠门 (kōumén) only describes a person's character. Never use it to describe an object's price.
    • Incorrect: ~~这个手机很抠门。~~ (Zhège shǒujī hěn kōumén.)
    • Correct: 这个手机很便宜 (piányi). (This phone is very inexpensive.)

Related Terms and Concepts

  • 小气 (xiǎoqì) - A very common synonym for 抠门. It means “stingy” and can also mean “petty” or “small-minded.”
  • 吝啬 (lìnsè) - A more formal, literary word for “miserly” or “stingy.” You're more likely to see this in writing than hear it in casual conversation.
  • 大方 (dàfāng) - The direct antonym of 抠门. It means “generous,” both with money and in spirit.
  • 节俭 (jiéjiǎn) - The positive counterpart: “frugal” or “thrifty.” It is a respected virtue.
  • 省钱 (shěng qián) - A neutral verb phrase meaning “to save money.” This is the action, while 抠门 or 节俭 is the trait.
  • 铁公鸡 (tiě gōngjī) - A vivid idiom meaning “iron rooster.” It describes a person from whom you cannot pluck a single feather (i.e., get a single cent). It's a very strong way to call someone 抠门.
  • AA制 (AA zhì) - From the English “Algebraic Average,” this phrase means “to go Dutch” or split the bill evenly. Whether this is considered 抠门 depends entirely on the social context.
  • 面子 (miànzi) - “Face”; social standing and reputation. Being generous gives face, while being 抠门 can cause a loss of face for everyone involved.