tuōdān: 脱单 - To Stop Being Single, To Find a Partner

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• Summary: “脱单” (tuōdān) is a hugely popular modern Chinese slang term meaning “to stop being single” or “to successfully find a romantic partner.” It literally translates to “escaping singlehood” and captures the goal-oriented, often triumphant feeling of entering a relationship. This term is essential for understanding contemporary Chinese youth culture, online dating, and the social pressures surrounding relationships in China.

• Pinyin (with tone marks): tuō dān
• Part of Speech: Verb-object phrase (often functions as a verb)
• HSK Level: N/A
• Concise Definition: To successfully end one's single status by entering a romantic relationship.
• In a Nutshell: Imagine your relationship status is a box labeled “Single.” “脱单” is the action of breaking out of that box. It's not just “dating someone”; it's the specific event of transitioning from single to non-single. It carries a sense of achievement, like completing a mission, which is why it's so common to hear young people in China state their goal is to “脱单” this year.

• 脱 (tuō): To take off (as in clothes), to escape from, to shed (as a snake sheds its skin). In this context, the meaning is “to escape” or “to get out of.”
• 单 (dān): Single, alone, one. Here, it specifically refers to the relationship status of being “single.”

When combined, 脱单 (tuōdān) creates a vivid and intuitive image: “to escape from being single.” It's an active, deliberate process of changing one's status.

“脱单” is more than just a word; it's a window into modern Chinese social dynamics. While finding a partner is a universal human experience, “脱单” is framed by a unique cultural backdrop. In China, there is significant social and familial pressure to be in a relationship and eventually marry by a certain age. This has led to concepts like 剩女 (shèngnǚ), or “leftover women,” a term for unmarried women (often highly educated and successful) past their mid-to-late twenties. The intense pressure to avoid this label makes “脱单” feel less like a casual romantic development and more like a necessary life goal or a project to be completed. Compare this to the Western phrase “to get into a relationship.” While similar, the Western concept is generally seen as a more natural, passive progression. “脱单,” however, feels more active and urgent. It’s the triumphant declaration at the finish line of a race you were pressured to run. This feeling is amplified on social media and during holidays like Singles' Day (双十一), where “祝你早日脱单” (I hope you find a partner soon!) is a common, well-intentioned blessing among friends.

“脱单” is quintessential slang. It's used constantly in informal settings among friends, peers, and especially online.

• On Social Media: Announcing you have a new partner is often done with a simple post: “我脱单了!” (Wǒ tuōdān le! - I'm not single anymore!). This is often accompanied by a photo of the new couple.
• Setting Goals: It's extremely common to hear people state “脱单” as a New Year's resolution or personal goal.
• In Conversation: Friends will ask each other “你脱单了吗？” (Nǐ tuōdān le ma? - Have you found someone yet?) as a casual way to check in on their love life.

It's almost always used in a positive or goal-oriented way. The connotation is one of success, relief, or aspiration. You would never use this term in a formal or professional context.

• Example 1:
  • 我最好的朋友终于脱单了，我真为她高兴！
  • Pinyin: Wǒ zuì hǎo de péngyǒu zhōngyú tuōdān le, wǒ zhēn wèi tā gāoxìng!
  • English: My best friend finally found a partner, I'm so happy for her!
  • Analysis: A classic celebratory use of the term. “终于” (zhōngyú - finally) emphasizes the feeling that it was a long-awaited achievement.
• Example 2:
  • 我今年的新年愿望就是成功脱单。
  • Pinyin: Wǒ jīnnián de xīnnián yuànwàng jiùshì chénggōng tuōdān.
  • English: My New Year's resolution this year is to successfully find a partner.
  • Analysis: This shows “脱单” used as a life goal. The verb “成功” (chénggōng - to succeed) can be added to emphasize the goal-oriented nature.
• Example 3:
  • 你看，他又在朋友圈秀恩爱了，也不知道他是什么时候脱单的。
  • Pinyin: Nǐ kàn, tā yòu zài Péngyǒuquān xiù ēn'ài le, yě bù zhīdào tā shì shénme shíhòu tuōdān de.
  • English: Look, he's showing off his relationship on WeChat Moments again. I don't even know when he stopped being single.
  • Analysis: This demonstrates how “脱单” refers to the specific moment or event of getting into a relationship.
• Example 4:
  • 祝你光棍节之前顺利脱单！
  • Pinyin: Zhù nǐ Guānggùnjié zhīqián shùnlì tuōdān!
  • English: Hope you successfully find someone before Singles' Day!
  • Analysis: A common blessing or joke among friends leading up to Singles' Day (November 11th). “顺利” (shùnlì) means “smoothly.”
• Example 5:
  • 别再叫我单身狗了，我已经脱单啦！
  • Pinyin: Bié zài jiào wǒ dānshēngǒu le, wǒ yǐjīng tuōdān lā!
  • English: Stop calling me a “single dog,” I'm in a relationship now!
  • Analysis: Shows the direct relationship between “单身狗” (dānshēngǒu - single person) and “脱单”. The “啦” (la) particle makes the tone playful and happy.
• Example 6:
  • 为了脱单，他下载了好几个交友APP。
  • Pinyin: Wèile tuōdān, tā xiàzàile hǎojǐ ge jiāoyǒu APP.
  • English: In order to find a partner, he downloaded several dating apps.
  • Analysis: “为了” (wèile - in order to) highlights “脱单” as the explicit purpose of an action.
• Example 7:
  • 我妈天天打电话，就问我什么时候能脱单。
  • Pinyin: Wǒ mā tiāntiān dǎ diànhuà, jiù wèn wǒ shénme shíhòu néng tuōdān.
  • English: My mom calls me every day just to ask when I'll be able to find a partner.
  • Analysis: This perfectly captures the element of parental pressure associated with the term.
• Example 8:
  • 脱单其实没那么重要，自己过得开心就好。
  • Pinyin: Tuōdān qíshí méi nàme zhòngyào, zìjǐ guò de kāixīn jiù hǎo.
  • English: Finding a partner actually isn't that important; what matters is being happy on your own.
  • Analysis: A counter-cultural or reflective use of the term, pushing back against social pressure.
• Example 9:
  • 恭喜你脱单！什么时候请我们吃饭啊？
  • Pinyin: Gōngxǐ nǐ tuōdān! Shénme shíhòu qǐng wǒmen chīfàn a?
  • English: Congrats on getting a partner! When are you treating us to a meal?
  • Analysis: It's common in China for the person with good news (like finding a partner) to treat their friends to a meal to celebrate.
• Example 10:
  • 他是母胎单身，所以特别想脱单。
  • Pinyin: Tā shì mǔtāi dānshēn, suǒyǐ tèbié xiǎng tuōdān.
  • English: He's been single since birth, so he especially wants to find a partner.
  • Analysis: Connects “脱单” to the slang 母胎单身 (mǔtāi dānshēn), meaning someone who has never been in a relationship.

• “脱单” is not “结婚” (jiéhūn): A huge mistake for learners is to confuse “脱单” with “getting married.” “脱单” is just the *first step*—starting a relationship. Marriage (结婚, jiéhūn) is a completely different, and much more serious, stage.
  • Incorrect: ~~他明年要脱单了。~~ (If you mean he's getting married next year).
  • Correct: 他明年要结婚了。 (He is getting married next year).
• It's an Action, Not a State: “脱单” is the event of becoming a couple. To describe the ongoing state of being in a relationship, you should use 谈恋爱 (tán liàn'ài).
  • Incorrect: ~~我们正在脱单。~~ (We are in the process of escaping singlehood?) - This sounds awkward.
  • Correct: 我们正在谈恋爱。 (We are dating / in a relationship).
• Informal Only: Do not use this in a business meeting, a formal essay, or when talking to an elder you don't know well. It's youth slang. Stick to more neutral phrases like “找对象” (zhǎo duìxiàng - to look for a partner) in more formal situations.

• 单身狗 (dānshēn gǒu) - Literally “single dog.” A popular and self-deprecating slang term for a single person. One must first be a “单身狗” to be able to “脱单”.
• 谈恋爱 (tán liàn'ài) - To be dating; to be in a relationship. This is the state you enter *after* you “脱单”.
• 相亲 (xiāngqīn) - A blind date, often arranged by parents or relatives. A very common method people use in an attempt to “脱单”.
• 剩女 (shèngnǚ) - “Leftover woman.” A somewhat derogatory term for an unmarried woman over the age of 27, reflecting the social pressure that makes “脱单” feel urgent.
• 结婚 (jiéhūn) - To get married. For many, this is the ultimate long-term goal after successfully completing “脱单” and “谈恋爱”.
• 秀恩爱 (xiù ēn'ài) - To show off one's love/relationship, especially on social media (the Chinese equivalent of PDA). This is what couples often do after they “脱单”.
• 母胎单身 (mǔtāi dānshēn) - “Single since the womb.” A slang term for someone who has never been in a relationship. Their biggest wish is often to “脱单”.
• 光棍 (guānggùn) - “Bare stick.” A more traditional slang term for a bachelor or single man. Singles' Day is called “光棍节” (Guānggùnjié).