guījǔ: 规矩 - Rules, Customs, Manners, Well-behaved

• Keywords: guiju, 规矩, Chinese rules, Chinese customs, Chinese etiquette, Chinese manners, meaning of guiju, how to use guiju, Chinese social norms, behave yourself in Chinese, proper conduct in China, unwritten rules.
• Summary: The Chinese word 规矩 (guījǔ) means “rules” or “manners,” but it represents a concept far deeper than its English translation. It refers to the entire set of social norms, customs, and unwritten rules of conduct that ensure harmony and order in families, workplaces, and society at large. Understanding 规矩 is essential for navigating Chinese culture appropriately, as it governs everything from dining etiquette to business negotiations, reflecting a collective emphasis on propriety and respect.

• Pinyin (with tone marks): guījǔ
• Part of Speech: Noun, Adjective
• HSK Level: HSK 5
• Concise Definition: Rules, customs, and standards of proper behavior.
• In a Nutshell: Think of 规矩 (guījǔ) as the invisible social handbook for “how to act right” in China. As a noun, it's the set of rules—both spoken and unspoken. As an adjective, it describes someone who is well-behaved and follows these rules. It's less about strict laws and more about social propriety, respect, and maintaining smooth relationships. A person who “has 规矩” is someone who is well-raised, respectful, and knows their place in a social hierarchy.

• 规 (guī): This character originally depicted a compass used for drawing circles. It has come to mean regulation, standard, or to plan. It represents a tool for creating a perfect, standardized shape.
• 矩 (jǔ): This character originally depicted a carpenter's square, a tool for drawing right angles. It has come to mean rule, standard, or matrix. It represents a tool for ensuring correctness and structure.

Together, 规矩 (guījǔ) literally combines the tools for making perfect circles and squares. Metaphorically, these tools represent the social standards and norms used to “shape” a proper, well-ordered individual and a harmonious society.

规矩 (guījǔ) is a cornerstone of Chinese social philosophy, deeply rooted in Confucian values. It is the practical application of concepts like social harmony (和谐, héxié), respect for hierarchy (e.g., elders, superiors), and collectivism. A useful Western comparison is the concept of “etiquette” or “unwritten rules,” but 规矩 carries significantly more weight and is more pervasive. While breaking etiquette in the West might be seen as a minor faux pas or a sign of being “rude,” being “没规矩” (méi guījǔ - having no manners/rules) in China is a severe criticism of one's upbringing, character, and respect for the entire social order.

• Western “Rules” vs. Chinese “规矩”:
  • Explicit vs. Implicit: Western rules are often explicit, written down, and universally applied (e.g., traffic laws, company policy). 规矩 is often implicit, learned through observation and correction, and can be highly situational.
  • Individualism vs. Collectivism: Violating a rule in the West is often a matter between the individual and the institution. Violating 规矩 is an offense against the group (the family, the company, the dinner party) and disrupts collective harmony.
  • Goal: The goal of Western rules is often to protect individual rights and ensure fairness. The goal of 规矩 is to maintain social order, show respect, and ensure everyone feels comfortable and “face” (面子, miànzi) is preserved.

Following 规矩 is not about mindless obedience; it's about demonstrating that you are a considerate, well-raised, and trustworthy member of the group.

规矩 is used constantly in daily life, from the home to the boardroom.

Parents often use 规矩 to teach children proper behavior.

• “坐要有坐相，站要有站相，这是规矩。” (Zuò yào yǒu zuò xiàng, zhàn yào yǒu zhàn xiàng, zhè shì guījǔ.) - “You must sit properly and stand properly, these are the rules/manners.”
• A child who eats neatly and greets elders respectfully is described as “很规矩” (hěn guījǔ - very well-behaved).

A new employee must quickly learn the company's 规矩. This includes not just the formal policies, but who to defer to, how to speak in meetings, and the etiquette of after-work dinners.

• “在我们公司，开会的时候老板没说话，下属不能先说，这是规矩。” (Zài wǒmen gōngsī, kāihuì de shíhòu lǎobǎn méi shuōhuà, xiàshǔ bùnéng xiān shuō, zhè shì guījǔ.) - “In our company, subordinates cannot speak before the boss does in a meeting. This is the custom.”

• Positive/Neutral (Noun/Adjective): The standard usage, referring to proper conduct.
• Negative (Noun): “死规矩” (sǐ guījǔ) - “dead/rigid rules.” Used to complain about rules that are overly bureaucratic, inflexible, and lack common sense.
• Strongly Negative (Adjective Phrase): “没规矩” (méi guījǔ) - “to have no manners.” A serious insult implying someone is uncivilized and poorly raised.

• Example 1:
  • 吃饭的时候要守规矩，不要说话太大声。
  • Pinyin: Chīfàn de shíhòu yào shǒu guījǔ, bùyào shuōhuà tài dà shēng.
  • English: You must follow the rules/manners when eating; don't speak too loudly.
  • Analysis: Here, 规矩 refers to dining etiquette. “守规矩” (shǒu guījǔ) is a common collocation meaning “to abide by the rules.”
• Example 2:
  • 这个孩子又听话又规矩，真让人喜欢。
  • Pinyin: Zhège háizi yòu tīnghuà yòu guījǔ, zhēn ràng rén xǐhuān.
  • English: This child is both obedient and well-behaved, truly likable.
  • Analysis: 规矩 is used as an adjective here, a high compliment for a child's behavior and upbringing.
• Example 3:
  • 你怎么这么没规矩？见了老师也不问好。
  • Pinyin: Nǐ zěnme zhème méi guījǔ? Jiànle lǎoshī yě bù wènhǎo.
  • English: How can you be so ill-mannered? You didn't even greet the teacher when you saw him.
  • Analysis: “没规矩” (méi guījǔ) is a strong criticism. It's more than just “rude”; it's a condemnation of one's lack of proper social training.
• Example 4:
  • 每个行业都有自己的规矩，我们得先弄懂。
  • Pinyin: Měi ge hángyè dōu yǒu zìjǐ de guījǔ, wǒmen děi xiān nòng dǒng.
  • English: Every industry has its own unwritten rules; we have to understand them first.
  • Analysis: This shows 规矩 used in a professional context, referring to the specific customs and unspoken norms of a particular field.
• Example 5:
  • 他做事方方正正，非常规矩。
  • Pinyin: Tā zuòshì fāngfāngzhèngzhèng, fēicháng guījǔ.
  • English: He does things in a proper and methodical way; he's very upright/by-the-book.
  • Analysis: Here, 规矩 as an adjective describes someone who is meticulous, orderly, and perhaps a bit conservative in their methods.
• Example 6:
  • 这是老祖宗传下来的规矩，不能改。
  • Pinyin: Zhè shì lǎozǔzōng chuán xiàlái de guījǔ, bùnéng gǎi.
  • English: This is a custom passed down from our ancestors; it cannot be changed.
  • Analysis: This highlights the connection between 规矩 and tradition (传统, chuántǒng). It shows the deep cultural roots and resistance to change some customs have.
• Example 7:
  • 无规矩不成方圆。
  • Pinyin: Wú guījǔ bù chéng fāng yuán.
  • English: Nothing can be accomplished without norms and standards. (Literally: Without the compass and the square, you cannot make circles and squares.)
  • Analysis: This is a very common and important proverb (成语, chéngyǔ) that encapsulates the philosophy behind 规矩. It argues that standards are essential for creating order and achieving success.
• Example 8:
  • 别管那些死规矩了，我们灵活一点儿处理吧。
  • Pinyin: Bié guǎn nàxiē sǐ guījǔ le, wǒmen línghuó yīdiǎnr chǔlǐ ba.
  • English: Forget about those rigid rules; let's handle this more flexibly.
  • Analysis: “死规矩” (sǐ guījǔ) is the negative form, used to criticize rules that are seen as bureaucratic and counterproductive.
• Example 9:
  • 作为一个新人，我首先要学习的就是办公室的规矩。
  • Pinyin: Zuòwéi yīge xīnrén, wǒ shǒuxiān yào xuéxí de jiùshì bàngōngshì de guījǔ.
  • English: As a newcomer, the first thing I need to learn is the office's unwritten rules.
  • Analysis: This is a very practical sentence for anyone starting a new job in China, emphasizing the importance of observing and learning the social dynamics.
• Example 10:
  • 他这个人不守规矩，总是喜欢打破常规。
  • Pinyin: Tā zhège rén bù shǒu guījǔ, zǒngshì xǐhuān dǎpò chángguī.
  • English: This person doesn't abide by the rules and always likes to break with convention.
  • Analysis: “不守规矩” (bù shǒu guījǔ) can be a neutral observation or a criticism, depending on the context. It might describe a maverick and innovator, or simply a troublemaker.

• “Rules” vs. 规矩 (guījǔ) vs. 规则 (guīzé): This is the most common pitfall for learners.
  • 规矩 (guījǔ): Social rules, customs, manners, propriety. Often unwritten and about social harmony.
  • 规则 (guīzé): Explicit, systematic rules for a specific system. Use this for games, sports, grammar, or traffic.
  • Incorrect: ~~这个游戏的规矩是什么？~~ (Zhège yóuxì de guījǔ shì shénme?)
  • Correct: 这个游戏的规则是什么？ (Zhège yóuxì de guīzé shì shénme?) - What are the rules of this game?
• Underestimating “没规矩” (méi guījǔ): Calling someone “rude” in English is a criticism of their actions in a moment. Calling someone “没规矩” is a much deeper insult that criticizes their entire upbringing, family, and character. Avoid using it lightly.
• Over-applying “规矩”: While important, not everything is about 规矩. For formal, written laws and regulations that carry legal penalties, the correct word is 法律 (fǎlǜ). For company policies written in a handbook, 规定 (guīdìng) is often more appropriate.

• 规则 (guīzé) - Explicit rules for games, traffic, or systems. More objective and less cultural than `规矩`.
• 礼貌 (lǐmào) - Politeness, courtesy. A polite action is a manifestation of understanding `规矩`.
• 纪律 (jìlǜ) - Discipline, especially in a structured group like an army or a school. It's about enforced order.
• 法律 (fǎlǜ) - Law. The state-enforced rules of a country. Breaking `法律` leads to legal punishment.
• 传统 (chuántǒng) - Tradition. Many `规矩` are based on long-standing traditions.
• 教养 (jiàoyǎng) - Upbringing, breeding, good manners. A person with good `教养` is one who naturally follows `规矩`.
• 分寸 (fēncun) - A sense of propriety, tact, and knowing the appropriate limits in a social situation. This is the skill required to navigate `规矩` successfully.
• 面子 (miànzi) - “Face,” or social prestige and honor. Following `规矩` is essential for giving others `面子` and preserving one's own.
• 和谐 (héxié) - Harmony. The ultimate social goal that following `规矩` helps to achieve.