tǎoyàn: 讨厌 - To Dislike, To Hate, Annoying

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• Summary: Learn the meaning and usage of the essential Chinese word 讨厌 (tǎoyàn). This guide covers its dual role as a verb (“to dislike, to hate”) and an adjective (“annoying”). Discover the cultural nuances that distinguish it from a simple “don't like” (不喜欢) and the deep-seated “hate” (恨), and learn why it can sometimes be used playfully in conversation. This practical page provides everything a beginner needs, including 10 example sentences and analysis.

• Pinyin (with tone marks): tǎoyàn
• Part of Speech: Verb / Adjective
• HSK Level: HSK 3
• Concise Definition: To dislike something or someone with a degree of aversion; to be annoying or disagreeable.
• In a Nutshell: 讨厌 (tǎoyàn) expresses a feeling of strong dislike, irritation, or aversion. It's much stronger than a neutral preference like “I don't like” (不喜欢 bù xǐhuān) but usually less severe than true “hatred” (恨 hèn). Think of it as the feeling you get when something or someone genuinely gets on your nerves, provokes your distaste, or is just plain annoying.

• 讨 (tǎo): While it has many meanings, here it's best understood as “to invite,” “to provoke,” or “to ask for.” It implies an active quality.
• 厌 (yàn): This character means “to be weary of,” “to be fed up with,” or “to detest.” It signifies a feeling of tiredness and aversion from overexposure or inherent dislike.

When combined, 讨厌 (tǎoyàn) literally means “to invite weariness” or “to provoke dislike.” This perfectly captures the essence of the word: something is so disagreeable that it actively causes you to feel aversion and irritation.

讨厌 (tǎoyàn) occupies a unique emotional space in Chinese that doesn't perfectly map to a single English word. It's a powerful tool for expressing personal feelings, but its interpretation is highly dependent on context and tone. Compared to the Western concept of “hate,” 讨厌 (tǎoyàn) is often less severe and used more frequently in everyday life. You can 讨厌 a rainy day, a loud noise, or a particular food without implying deep-seated malice. The most fascinating cultural aspect is its use in 撒娇 (sājiāo), or acting in a playful, coquettish, or childlike manner to show affection. When a friend or partner does something nice that is slightly embarrassing, one might exclaim, “哎呀，讨厌!” (Aiya, tǎoyàn!). Here, it translates closer to “Oh, you!” or “Stop it, you're embarrassing me!” It's a complete reversal of the negative meaning, used to express shy affection. This highlights a cultural tendency to express some positive emotions through feigned negativity, a nuance English speakers must learn to recognize through tone and context.

讨厌 (tǎoyàn) is a versatile word used constantly in daily life.

• As a Verb (to dislike/hate): This is the most straightforward usage. It's a direct and strong expression of dislike for a person, thing, or situation. It's stronger than 不喜欢 (bù xǐhuān).
  • `我讨厌他。` (Wǒ tǎoyàn tā.) - I dislike/can't stand him.
  • `我讨厌做家务。` (Wǒ tǎoyàn zuò jiāwù.) - I hate doing chores.
• As an Adjective (annoying/disagreeable): This is an extremely common usage, describing someone or something as being a nuisance.
  • `他这个人很讨厌。` (Tā zhège rén hěn tǎoyàn.) - He is a very annoying person.
  • `这个天气真讨厌。` (Zhège tiānqì zhēn tǎoyàn.) - This weather is really disagreeable/annoying.
• As a Playful Interjection: Used between close friends or romantic partners, almost always by a female speaker. The tone is key—it's light, affectionate, and a little shy.
  • (After receiving a compliment) `讨厌啦！` (Tǎoyàn la!) - “Oh, stop it!” / “You!”

• Example 1:
  • 我讨厌在人多的时候去购物。
  • Pinyin: Wǒ tǎoyàn zài rén duō de shíhòu qù gòuwù.
  • English: I hate going shopping when it's crowded.
  • Analysis: A classic verb usage. The speaker is expressing a strong aversion to a specific situation. It's much stronger than simply saying “I don't like…” (不喜欢).
• Example 2:
  • 你为什么这么讨厌我？我做错了什么？
  • Pinyin: Nǐ wèishéme zhème tǎoyàn wǒ? Wǒ zuò cuòle shénme?
  • English: Why do you dislike me so much? What did I do wrong?
  • Analysis: Here, 讨厌 is used as a verb in a question to confront someone about their strong negative feelings.
• Example 3:
  • 他总是打断我说话，真讨厌！
  • Pinyin: Tā zǒngshì dǎduàn wǒ shuōhuà, zhēn tǎoyàn!
  • English: He always interrupts me when I'm speaking, so annoying!
  • Analysis: This shows 讨厌 used as an adjective to describe a behavior. The “真 (zhēn)” intensifies the feeling of annoyance.
• Example 4:
  • 你买的这个礼物太贵重了，讨厌！
  • Pinyin: Nǐ mǎi de zhège lǐwù tài guìzhòng le, tǎoyàn!
  • English: This gift you bought is too expensive, oh you!
  • Analysis: This is the crucial playful/coquettish usage. The speaker isn't actually annoyed; they are expressing embarrassed gratitude and affection. The context (receiving a gift) and tone of voice would make this clear.
• Example 5:
  • 我最讨厌的就是不诚实的人。
  • Pinyin: Wǒ zuì tǎoyàn de jiùshì bù chéngshí de rén.
  • English: The thing I hate the most is dishonest people.
  • Analysis: Using “最 (zuì)” meaning “most” elevates 讨厌 to its strongest level, getting closer to the English “hate.” The structure “我最…的就是…” is very common for emphasizing a preference or dislike.
• Example 6:
  • 这只蚊子在我耳边飞来飞去，太讨厌了。
  • Pinyin: Zhè zhī wénzi zài wǒ ěr biān fēi lái fēi qù, tài tǎoyàn le.
  • English: This mosquito flying around my ear is so annoying.
  • Analysis: A perfect example of using 讨厌 as an adjective to describe something that is a nuisance. “太…了 (tài…le)” is another common way to intensify an adjective.
• Example 7:
  • 别做一个让人讨厌的人。
  • Pinyin: Bié zuò yí ge ràng rén tǎoyàn de rén.
  • English: Don't be a person that others find annoying/dislikeable.
  • Analysis: “让人讨厌 (ràng rén tǎoyàn)” means “to make people feel dislike.” This structure is useful for describing something that has an annoying effect on others.
• Example 8:
  • 我开始讨厌我的工作了，每天都一样。
  • Pinyin: Wǒ kāishǐ tǎoyàn wǒ de gōngzuò le, měi tiān dōu yíyàng.
  • English: I'm starting to hate my job; every day is the same.
  • Analysis: This shows the process of developing a strong dislike, using “开始 (kāishǐ) - to start.” It implies the feeling is growing due to monotony.
• Example 9:
  • 他看我的眼神里充满了讨厌。
  • Pinyin: Tā kàn wǒ de yǎnshén lǐ chōngmǎn le tǎoyàn.
  • English: The look in his eyes was full of dislike/aversion towards me.
  • Analysis: Here, 讨厌 is used as a noun, representing the abstract concept of “dislike” or “aversion.” This is less common but grammatically correct.
• Example 10:
  • 这种湿热的天气最讨厌了，让人什么都不想干。
  • Pinyin: Zhè zhǒng shīrè de tiānqì zuì tǎoyàn le, ràng rén shénme dōu bùxiǎng gàn.
  • English: This kind of humid and hot weather is the most annoying; it makes people not want to do anything.
  • Analysis: Another adjectival use, describing an abstract thing (weather). It links the annoying quality of the weather to its effect on the speaker's motivation.

• Mistake 1: Using 讨厌 when you mean 不喜欢 (bù xǐhuān).
  • Incorrect: `我讨厌胡萝卜，但是如果没别的菜，我也会吃。` (I hate carrots, but if there's nothing else, I'll eat them.)
  • Why it's awkward: 讨厌 implies a strong aversion. If you're willing to eat it, your feeling is probably just a lack of preference.
  • Correct: `我不喜欢胡萝卜…` (Wǒ bù xǐhuān húluóbo…) This more accurately reflects a simple preference. Use 讨厌 for things you actively want to avoid.
• Mistake 2: Using 讨厌 when you mean 恨 (hèn).
  • Context: Someone betrayed you in a very serious way.
  • Incorrect (too weak): `我讨厌他！` (Wǒ tǎoyàn tā!)
  • Why it's weak: 讨厌 might just mean you find them extremely annoying or unpleasant to be around. For deep-seated, passionate hatred (e.g., for an enemy who has wronged you), 恨 (hèn) is the appropriate word.
  • Correct (stronger): `我恨他！` (Wǒ hèn tā!)
• Mistake 3: Missing the “annoying” meaning.
  • Many learners only learn 讨厌 as “to hate.” They get confused when they hear `这个情况很讨厌` (This situation is very annoying). Remember that 讨厌 is just as common, if not more common, as an adjective meaning “annoying” or “disagreeable.”

• 不喜欢 (bù xǐhuān) - “To not like.” A neutral expression of preference, much weaker than 讨厌. It's the direct antonym of 喜欢 (xǐhuān).
• 恨 (hèn) - “To hate.” Represents deep, often long-lasting hatred and malice. It is much stronger and more serious than 讨厌.
• 烦 (fán) - “To be annoyed, vexed; annoying.” Often interchangeable with 讨厌 in its adjectival sense (e.g., `你好烦！` - You're so annoying!), but 烦 focuses more on the feeling of being mentally troubled or bothered.
• 嫌弃 (xiánqì) - “To dislike and avoid, to scorn.” This implies looking down on something or someone as inferior or failing to meet a standard. It carries a sense of disdain that 讨厌 doesn't always have.
• 恶心 (ěxīn) - “Disgusting, nauseating.” Describes a visceral, physical or moral revulsion. It's a much more intense and specific feeling than 讨厌. You might find a behavior 讨厌, but you'd find a cockroach in your food 恶心.
• 反感 (fǎngǎn) - “To be disgusted with, aversion.” A more formal or literary term for strong dislike, often used to describe a negative impression of someone's words or actions.
• 撒娇 (sājiāo) - “To act coquettishly, to be cutesy/whiny.” This is the social act where the playful, affectionate use of “讨厌!” is most commonly found.