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kào: 靠 - To lean on, to rely on, depend on; near, close to

  • Keywords: 靠 meaning, 靠 Chinese character, kao pinyin, what does 靠 mean, Chinese word for rely on, depend on in Chinese, lean on in Chinese, near in Chinese, 我靠 (wo kao) meaning, 靠谱 (kaopu), 可靠 (kekao), 靠近 (kaojin)
  • Summary: The Chinese character 靠 (kào) is an incredibly versatile and fundamental word for learners. Its core meaning is “to lean on” or “to rely on,” but it extends from physical actions, like leaning against a wall, to abstract dependence, like relying on friends. It's also used as a preposition to mean “near” or “by,” such as a seat “by the window.” Understanding 靠 (kào) unlocks key cultural concepts about relationships and support in China, and even a common slang expression, making it essential for both practical conversation and deeper cultural fluency.
  • Pinyin (with tone marks): kào
  • Part of Speech: Verb, Preposition
  • HSK Level: HSK 3
  • Concise Definition: To lean against something physically; to depend or rely on a person or resource; to be situated near a location.
  • In a Nutshell: Think of 靠 (kào) as a “support.” It can be a physical support, like when you 在墙上 (kào zài qiáng shàng) - “lean on the wall.” It can be an intangible, social support, like how you might 朋友 (kào péngyou) - “rely on friends.” And it can describe location, where being 窗 (kào chuāng) - “by the window” - means you are right up against it, supported by its proximity. It's one word for leaning, relying, and being near.
  • is a single, compound character. For beginners, it's most effective to learn the character as a whole unit associated with the concept of “support” or “leaning.”
  • It is composed of two parts:
    • 非 (fēi): Meaning “not” or “wrong.”
    • 告 (gào): Meaning “to tell” or “to announce.”
  • The combination's origin is complex. A simple way to remember it is to think of someone who needs support but is told (告) that this is not (非) the way, forcing them to find a real source of support to lean on. However, for practical purposes, associating the entire shape of with the image of a person leaning against a wall is the most direct learning method.
  • is a window into the Chinese social fabric, which is more collectivist than many Western cultures. While self-reliance (靠自己, kào zìjǐ) is a virtue, the ability to one's family, friends, or network (关系, guānxi) is seen as a practical and often necessary part of life.
  • Comparison to Western Individualism: In American culture, the “self-made” individual who “pulls themselves up by their bootstraps” is a strong ideal. Saying you “rely on your parents” as an adult can carry a strong negative stigma. In China, while independence is valued, acknowledging interdependence is normal. The phrase 在家靠父母,出门靠朋友 (zài jiā kào fùmǔ, chūmén kào péngyou) - “At home, rely on parents; when away, rely on friends” - is a widely accepted proverb, not an admission of weakness. It highlights the importance of a strong support network.
  • Using connections to get a job (靠关系, kào guānxi) can be viewed negatively as nepotism, but it's also often accepted as a pragmatic reality of how society functions. The ability to others is a form of social capital.
  • 1. Physical Leaning (Verb): Used to describe physically resting against something.
    • Connotation: Neutral.
    • Example: 他累了,就在树上休息。(Tā lèi le, jiù kào zài shù shàng xiūxi.) - He was tired, so he leaned against the tree to rest.
  • 2. Relying on / Depending on (Verb): This is its most common abstract meaning. The connotation can change dramatically with context.
    • Neutral/Positive: 靠自己的努力 (kào zìjǐ de nǔlì - rely on one's own hard work).
    • Potentially Negative: 总是靠父母 (zǒngshì kào fùmǔ - always relying on parents), implying an adult who can't stand on their own two feet. This is related to the concept of 啃老族 (kěnlǎozú).
  • 3. Near / By / Close to (Preposition): Used to indicate proximity.
    • Connotation: Neutral.
    • Example: 我家着公园。(Wǒ jiā kào zhe gōngyuán.) - My house is near the park.
  • 4. Slang and Common Exclamations:
    • 我靠! (Wǒ kào!): A very common, informal exclamation of surprise, frustration, or shock. It's similar to “Damn!”, “Holy crap!”, or a softer “What the f—!”. It is ubiquitous in casual conversation among friends but should be avoided in formal or polite situations.
    • 靠谱 (kàopǔ): A hugely popular slang term meaning “reliable,” “dependable,” “trustworthy,” or “legit.” Its opposite, 不靠谱 (bù kàopǔ), is equally common and means “unreliable” or “flaky.”
  • Example 1:
    • 请不要在门上,门是新刷的。
    • Pinyin: Qǐng búyào kào zài mén shàng, mén shì xīn shuā de.
    • English: Please don't lean on the door, it's freshly painted.
    • Analysis: This is the most literal, physical meaning of .
  • Example 2:
    • 在家父母,出门朋友。
    • Pinyin: Zài jiā kào fùmǔ, chūmén kào péngyou.
    • English: At home, you rely on your parents; when you're away, you rely on your friends.
    • Analysis: A classic proverb that demonstrates the cultural acceptance of interdependence.
  • Example 3:
    • 你不能总是运气,你需要一个实际的计划。
    • Pinyin: Nǐ bùnéng zǒngshì kào yùnqì, nǐ xūyào yí ge shíjì de jìhuà.
    • English: You can't always rely on luck, you need a practical plan.
    • Analysis: Here, is used for relying on an abstract concept (luck).
  • Example 4:
    • 我想预订一个窗的座位。
    • Pinyin: Wǒ xiǎng yùdìng yí ge kào chuāng de zuòwèi.
    • English: I'd like to book a seat by the window.
    • Analysis: This shows used as a preposition to mean “by” or “next to.”
  • Example 5:
    • 我靠!我把钥匙忘在家里了!
    • Pinyin: Wǒ kào! Wǒ bǎ yàoshi wàng zài jiāli le!
    • English: Damn! I forgot my keys at home!
    • Analysis: This demonstrates the common slang usage of as an exclamation. It's informal and expresses surprise or frustration.
  • Example 6:
    • 他是一个很可靠的合作伙伴。
    • Pinyin: Tā shì yí ge hěn kěkào de hézuò huǒbàn.
    • English: He is a very reliable business partner.
    • Analysis: 可靠 (kěkào) is the formal adjective for “reliable,” derived from .
  • Example 7:
    • 这个主意听起来很靠谱,我们可以试试。
    • Pinyin: Zhè ge zhǔyi tīng qǐlái hěn kàopǔ, wǒmen kěyǐ shìshi.
    • English: This idea sounds really solid/reliable, we can give it a try.
    • Analysis: 靠谱 (kàopǔ) is the modern, conversational slang for “reliable” or “legit.”
  • Example 8:
    • 他这个人太不靠谱了,上次开会他迟到了一个小时。
    • Pinyin: Tā zhè ge rén tài bù kàopǔ le, shàng cì kāihuì tā chídào le yí ge xiǎoshí.
    • English: That guy is so unreliable, he was an hour late for the last meeting.
    • Analysis: The negative form, 不靠谱 (bù kàopǔ), is extremely common for describing people, plans, or information that is flaky or untrustworthy.
  • Example 9:
    • 我们的船正在慢慢岸。
    • Pinyin: Wǒmen de chuán zhèngzài mànmàn kào àn.
    • English: Our boat is slowly drawing near the shore.
    • Analysis: 靠岸 (kào àn) is a set phrase meaning “to dock” or “to pull into shore,” combining “near” and “shore.”
  • Example 10:
    • 很多人认为他得到那个晋升是关系。
    • Pinyin: Hěn duō rén rènwéi tā dédào nà ge jìnshēng shì kào guānxi.
    • English: A lot of people think he got that promotion by relying on connections (guanxi).
    • Analysis: This usage often carries a slightly negative or cynical connotation, implying the person didn't earn it through merit alone.
  • Mistake 1: Confusing “我靠 (Wǒ kào!)” with “I rely on…“ A beginner hearing “我靠!” might literally translate it as “I lean” or “I rely,” which makes no sense in context. It's crucial to recognize this as a set exclamation of surprise, similar to “Damn it!” and not as a grammatical sentence.
  • Mistake 2: Not understanding the changing connotation. Relying on others (朋友) can be positive, but relying on parents as an adult (父母) can be seen as shameful. The meaning is highly dependent on who is relying on whom, and for what.
  • “靠 (kào)” vs. “依靠 (yīkào)”: These are similar, but 依靠 (yīkào) is more formal and often implies a deeper, more profound, or even existential dependence. is the workhorse word used in everyday speech for all forms of leaning and relying. You a wall, but a child might 依靠 their mother.
  • “靠谱 (kàopǔ)” vs. “可靠 (kěkào)”: Both mean “reliable.” 可靠 (kěkào) is the standard, dictionary-definition adjective you can use in any situation, including formal writing. 靠谱 (kàopǔ) is conversational, modern slang. You'd tell a friend their plan is 靠谱, but you'd write in a business report that a supplier is 可靠.
  • 靠近 (kàojìn) - To draw near, to approach. A verb describing the action of getting closer to something.
  • 可靠 (kěkào) - Reliable, trustworthy. The standard, formal adjective for “dependable.”
  • 靠谱 (kàopǔ) - (Slang) Reliable, dependable, legit. The informal, modern equivalent of 可靠.
  • 依靠 (yīkào) - To rely on, depend on. A more formal and often deeper synonym for 靠.
  • 依赖 (yīlài) - To be dependent on. Often implies a lack of independence, sometimes with a negative connotation.
  • 关系 (guānxi) - Connections, network. The social resource that people in China often need to to get things done.
  • 支持 (zhīchí) - To support. Describes the action of the person giving help, whereas describes the action of the person receiving it.
  • 啃老族 (kěnlǎozú) - Lit. “gnaw on the old tribe.” A term for adults who their parents for financial support.